Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Who is afraid of Virginia Wolf?

There was this old play about these two couples, who were emotionally cruel to each other. One of the women developed pseudo pregnancy and all. What I am about to say has nothing to do with Raas, but it needs to be said.
I am referring to what happened at Virginia tech. It is very relevant to Indian community along with other South Asian communities.
When Indians develop mental problems, they don't get help. Often they wait for a long time or deny that a problem exists. Generally it has been my experience that Indians and other immigrants, especially young college students who experience a break with reality, are very hard to treat. Parents often don't believe that their child has a problem. More often the college student is in complete denial and tries to avoid getting help. We Indians are just as susceptible to Depression, schizophrenia and alcohol abuse. Our communities have Bollywood Pollyanna view of life. We are obsessed with financial success. Parents are more concerned about the grades and salary that their children make than their happiness. This only fosters the denial.
What happened to Cho can happen to any one. Case that lead to the "duty to warn" rules involved an Indian with mental illness who killed some one. A young Indian fellow allegedly sufffering from mental illness (from a very successful, happy, reasonable well adjusted family that my friends know) killed his mother not too long ago. We also hear about uncles bumping off aunties. Aunties upset with uncles over drinking. We would like to believe that because we have good family support, we are immune from serious emotional problems. We blame bad luck and evil spirits. Our spiritual foundation is sometimes hollow because many of us grow up in families that don't teach spirituality or they are hyper religious. Indian kids and their parents often don't talk. Kids live two lives; one for parents and one for themselves. Most reasonable Indian parents can listen to their children but generally there is peer pressure to not talk to parents and keep secrets. This only hurts our young people when they get in trouble. This is the also case in India. Famous places like IIT are besieged with suicidal depressed brilliant students. Why do you think that the faith healers advertise so heavily on Indian TV here in USA? They make a lot of money off unhappy people looking for magical solution. If you know of someone who needs help, talk to them.

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